I really appreciate all of the support that I have received through my blog and my wonderful IPP gals! I have been so emotional lately. I cried last night watching lost and then this morning, I cried when I read the comments to my last entry.
I feel that I have made some of my best friends through this TTC journey. Yes, these seem to be ficticious friends, since I only communicate with them online, but they...you...have been a huge support to me both when I am up and when I am down and at my worst! You all make me laugh and make me cry. You are what I wish I had in my "everyday" life. I do have friends, but none that understand what I am going through like all of ya'll do. J is great, but I know that he gets tired of hearing me whine and cry about why I'm not pg. He tries to be so supportive, but he doesn't completely understand. Parts he does, because I know that he wants a baby as bad as I do, but to not be able to do the one thing that GOD gave us as women to set us apart, hurts. It hurts deeply.
I talk about my ups and downs...well, I am definitely at my down. I have my up moments throughout the day, but I realize that this is jepordizing my work and my life. I want to quit, but I can't. I WANT it too bad! I NEED to pull my head out of my ass and pick myself up. I will do it, but right now I think I need to wallow in my own self-pity until I can begin to feel a little better. I am working on that.
Anyway, I am sitting here at my desk, so I should probably get busy doing some work. I am swamped, but can't seem to get motivated to dig myself out from under this pile of shit that I have to do.
I hope that everyone has a great day! It is almost Friday...that should make us happy (assuming you have the weekend off!).
Thank you for the support that you have given me.
I found this quote and had to put it in....
"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked" ~ Bernard Meltzer
I thought that the whole egg thing fit in pretty good with having "fertility issues" and all.
5 comments:
Hi dear . .
I had this whole entire, long message written out in response to your post and what others said yesterday, but I deleted it. I think I was in a funk and I was trying to figure out why everyone always brings God and religion into not being able to get pregnant. Not that I am not religious, but I don't know . . . I just wanted you to know that I think what you are feeling is very normal. And because I like it when people are positive on my blog, (smile) I am just going to say that I am very hopeful that things will fall into place for you. You are wonderful!
Chas,
I tried to comment yesterday but I couldn't. I am so sorry that you are going through this. I think we all are which is making it worse. I know what you mean about wallowing in your own self pity. That is what I am doing right now too. I hope that it gets better for all of us soon. Chas you mean so much to me. You are always so encouraging. I wish that I had words that could encourage you. I know that it is going to happen for you and when it does I will be right here celebrating with you. I can't wait till that happens. I just wanted to let you know until it does if you ever need an ear I am here to listen and cry with you. I hope and pray that things get better really soon. Your in my thoughts.
Jenna
Chas,
We all love you so much and you are such a huge piece of our "ipp" puzzle. Without you we are not complete. But I know that without a baby you are not complete, so I will continue to pray for you and keep you close to my heart.
Love ya,
Jess
Chas,
I never had a little sister but if I had one, you'd be it. I feel very close to all of my ipp gals and I will try to help you with the ups and downs as much as humanly possible.
As far as why things happen...maybe god intended us all to have some sort of ttc downfall so we could find each other, know how blessed we are with our husbands and when that baby finally comes, we will be enriched all the more.
:)
Chas,
I know I am sounding like a broken record here but.....Your perfect baby just isn't ready to be born yet....it isn't done cooking...but when he/she is done and you finally have them, you will know this long hard road is so worth it.
I hope you feel better soon - we love you!
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