We are home...

Well, we came home yesterday. It is nice to be home, but I have been scared to death since I walked in the door. It is one thing to be at the hospital where if something goes wrong there are all of the doctors and nurses, unlike being home where it is just you.

Yesterday was a bad day. I was just so scared and unnerved that it wasn't even funny. Today, was much better. I still have to check her to make sure that she is still breathing when she is laying there. Last night was hard. I think I got maybe a total of an hour and a half to 2 hours of sleep if I was lucky. She just didn't want to sleep. She is moving a little slow when it comes to the breast feeding, but I am working with her. Hopefully she will take off on it pretty soon. We are finger feeding and supplementing with formula right now. She is starting to get where she likes to eat now, and we think that was part of her problem last night. I am pumping every 3 hours, and was able to give her about 16 ml's of breast milk today and then some formula with it.

She had a doctors appt. this morning and has lost a little weight because she wasn't eating like she was supposed to. She is down to 5 lbs. 4 oz, but she is starting to be a little pig, so I figure by the next appt. on the 6th she will be gaining some weight. The doctor said that she looks really good even with the small weight loss.

Ok, so my labor...I had to go back and read what I had wrote. I left off with the cytotech. Well, they gave me that and it didn't seem to work either. When the resident came in to break my water around 10:45 pm or so, I was still at a 2-3 and 80% effaced, so there had been no change since I was admitted. After my water was broke, things started moving along. I had in my mind that I was going to have as natural a labor as possible, so that meant no epi. Well, I changed my mind once the contractions started. They didn't work up to being bad, they started out bad. When the nurse came in, I told her "I think I am going to need an epidural. These contractions are getting bad." She asked if I wanted her to check me and I said yes...the look on her face was priceless when she checked and I was a 5. About 20 mins later when the anesthesiologist came in to administer the epi, I was dilated to somewhere between a 7 and 8. So, needless to say I loved the epi. It is probably one of the greatest inventions ever made. It made labor so easy! Then, it only took about 9 or 10 sets of pushes to get her out. It was a great feeling.

I am so thankful that I was finally given the opportunity to have this sweet little girl. I wouldn't trade it for anything. She is the sweetest thing that I could ever have imagined. She has her own little personality already and I never thought that I could love anyone this much!

I want to thank everyone for all of their wonderful comments. I am biased, but I do believe that she is a beautiful little girl. I pray that each and everyone of you experience this feeling very soon!